Last Saturday was a really great day (Sharon and I went to the Natural History Museum- and even though vandals forced the closure of the exhibition we went to see we had a blast - retrospective post to follow when I have time).
I need another one like that.
This week has been very stressful at work, rushing to put up Ministerial submissions, trying to extract policy advice from knuckle dragging, dribbling officials who haven't quite got a grip on reality, and desperately trying to pull dozens of policy lines into a publication ahead of its launch on Monday.
This combined with the fact that my boss is only attending periodical and when he does come in he arrives after 10:00am and leaves before 4:00 with a generous lunch time in between.
I on the other hand, have been leaving the house at 7:00am and have not been getting home much before 7:00pm. By the time I have prepared a meal eaten a meal, cleaned up after a meal, made sandwiches for the next day and ironed a shirt or washed cloths etc I’ve not been getting to bed until very late.
As things have got on top of me I've been getting more and more stressed, to the point that a very large Black dog visited earlier in the week and this morning I sort of had a panic attack on the tram at the prospect of everything I have to do here today.
Fortunately I thought things through very logically and calmed myself down.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, about the reasons why I collect things the way I do, what I expect from myself, why I have stuck at a job I largely hate for 16 years, why I do the things I do (sculpting and fencing), my fear of traveling or taking holidays alone and what I want from life. I am beginning to realise why think I need to make some serious changes to get more balance restored, but big changes are very hard, especially when you are largely addressing them in your own head without any external help or guidance.
So roll on 4:30pm, I am going to go home, have either home made pizza or fish and chips and watch a one of my unwatched DVDS, Serenity I think.