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Fencing Sculptor's Diary

The Ramblings of a Reluctant Civil Servant

Twitter Twitter you Twot !
Dr Evil
For weeks now the media has been bombarding me about Twitter this and Twitter that.

"Oh look Stephen Fry's stuck an a lift and he's such a hoot."
Yeah right !

"Oh look Jonathan Ross is in Sainsbury's."
Is he reheeeeaally ! How absolutely FASCINATING !!!! So am I, so what ? - Isn't my license fee paying enough for the twot to twitter from home and have someone deliver his celebrity shopping to his enormous house.....well imagine that !

Apparently I can subscribe to any number of completely pointless, vaccuous, celebrities who I genuinely loath with a passion and follow their every move !!!! and then gossip away with vaccuous nobodies about the significance of their insignificant lives. Whoop-d-flippin do.

Well imagine my deep, sodding, dissapointment at discovering that I cannot subscribe to a real time account (plus pictures) of Audrey Tautou showering !!!!!

The only thing I want to know about Lilly Allen is that both she and Mika have been trampled to death by a heard of paps rushing to get a morbid photo of Jade Goody's wedding dress, and that a freak heard of Elephants have squished them too.....

So for the benefit of all you Twitterers out their who are just dying (,and I wish you would) to know what I've been up to:

Paul has just been to the bog (number 1s)
Paul has just made yet another coffee.
Paul has put his socks and underpants into the mashing machine.

Paul thinks he'll be entering a snowball juggling competition in Hell before he signs up to Twotter.