May 9th, 2008


"Excuse me are my proposed regulations Hampton Compliant?"

*ring ring. ring ring*

Paraphrased.... but not by much.

Me: Hello ?

Idiot: I know that all new regs have to be Hampton Compliant, and I've got this Hampton report here, but I was just wondering are my proposed regulations Hampton Compliant?

Me: Well bugger me backwards with a bison, I'm afraid my crystal ball is on the blink again, tell you what, they're your regulations you tell me matey !

Idiot: but this report says, know, stuff...and I need to know ...whether, stuff is....compliant.

Me: Again with the abuse of the bovine wildlife. Are the words in that naughty naughty report to big for you there Dorothy ? did it keep you up and give you bad dreams ? what else do you want me to do for you there? could I wipe your nose for you, maybe give you a big supportive hug or, and here's the crux of it , have a feel around down there, and confirm to the world whether you've the cahonas to READ the bleeding document and you sodding job ?

...awwwwwww I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry's just that you're such a winy arse pitiful excuse for civil servant/man ....I might just need to take short holiday to recover from my shattering realisation that I do in fact work with people with the intellectual capacity of a fossilised mammoth turd.