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Fencing Sculptor's Diary

The Ramblings of a Reluctant Civil Servant

Get a bloomin' move on !
Well it's the 29th February.

And I am only answering the phone if Audrey Tautou and Uma Thurman are on the other end of the line...

Wales in Hot Sandy places Only because I'm Jealous....
I see Prince Harry fionally got to spend 10 weeks in the 'Stan.
It's all the news seems to be covering here.
Well Kudos to Wales.

Ok it's only because I'm wildly jealous but :

A) Take that ******* 'Septic' Baseball cap off ! They're ****s, don't encourage them !

B) Are you Sure you're supposed to be 'on point' with the green plastic muzzle guard from your cleaning kit on your SA80 on? ….Get it off Ginger !

C) Calling in the US airforce to drop a few anti G to A flares JUST so you could get a nice picture for the mantle piece….good drills ! You should have made 'em go lower to see if they'd have crashed.

D) Forward air support recce work - that's what I was being lined up for in C squadron-- ****s didn't mention that I'd get to 'brass up' the 'stan with a .50 cal…or is that a special privilidge for the third in line to the throne?

E) admitting to mistaking left for right when driving you warrior…. Wally !

F) Budgie ?! WTF! Get a 'nails' nickname you arse !

G) Pack your bags 'Budgie' *snigger* coz now your cover's blown …. So now it's back to Kensington, China White and $***ing posh birds …. "Because for you, Ze Var is over!"

Thanks awfully, but I've had enough now and would like to go home.
Nuff said.

Narfing Bo-lox
I had my medical on Tuesday 12th February. At which I had to reveal that I had asthma as a child.

This halted selection/enlistment in it's track, as the army apparently has a very hard line policy on Asthmatics whom it considers a potential burden on the battlefield, especially in these enlightened days of fighting in hot sandy/dusty places.

I have explained that I haven't had an attack in over 15 years…but them's the rules apparently.

I provided my full medical history to Regmt HQ 151 RLC last week and I had a phone call from one of the Captain's today to inform me that the Regmt.M.O will review the case on Tuesday. He didn't sound overly hopeful though, as the Modern Army's guidelines are very strict.

I'll get a call on Tuesday PM/ Wednesday AM to inform me whether "for me Ze Var iz Over"..before it has begun.

'Bugger' pretty much sums this up - I'm gutted.
Fingers crossed for Tuesday please.

...and in keeping with my good fortune...
A Karma Pixie apears to have taken a dump on my car hunting plans...

and the rather spankily high spec little, low millage Nisan Micra I took a shine to a couple of weeks back .....

....has you've guessed it..... been sold.

When I do purchase my replacement car.....I'm going to use it to run Karma Pixies down.....

The life-vendetta starts here...

Karmic Balance......
But in GOOD news I have been selected for the stupid HEO/Animal Testibng Trials devised by our Human Remains Department....

Karmic Balance......continued
So a succesful selction to try out as a Higher Executive Grunt/ Highly Trialed Government Monkey had to be balanced with something didn't it.....

Both Audrey Tautou and Uma Thurman have failed to call today.

Their loss !

They've missed out on a Sainsbury's Pizza, a Tin of Carling, and episodes 201 and 202 of the x-files. (the last of the 9 boxsets I have worked through since December)

I Are Geek...hear me snuffle pizza.