October 9th, 2007


Surreal? I don’t know Ask the Elephants !

My Departmental Bull$hit detector is well tuned after sixteen years here.

But even I was forced to do a double take at the sight of a poster featuring Elephants in the atrium this morning, notifying staff that apparently sometime over the summer officals have filed TWO African elephants.

Now THAT is no mean feat !

I mean just think of the logistics…..first you’ve got to get the elephant IN to a file jacket. Given that official files are not meant to exceed 1 inch thickness this would seem to require a mammoth (Excuse the pun!) feat of dieting on the elephants part !
Then you’ve got the messengers – getting the buggers to take half a dozen sodding regular files usually requires a diplomatic round of negotiations that would be the envy of the UN – persuading them to take a couple of elephants down to the postroom might be pushing it.

Then you have the issue of the off sight registry where all Government Departments file their Elephants…..somewhere out there is a warehouse full of Government Elephants consigned to wander the archives for the next 25 years or so. On one hand you have to applaud the government for creating these elephants (I wonder if the wider world knows that the government produces these elephants and whether or not they come in White?) but it seems a bit cruel to PA them. And while I am familar with the term "elephant in the room".....I didn't actually think the Ministers were blind to ACTUAL elepahnts in their Departments !

So, watch out for a herds of elephants being released from the public records office at Kew in 25 years…they’ve got good memories elephants…they’ll want to have words with however filed them !

Friday - A retrospective

I was given the fun job of arranging name plates for a meeting on Friday.

It didn't occupy my grey matter sufficiently and I got a bit bored so I included "General Zod formerly of Krypton (laterly the Phantom Zone)" and "Griffin".

Griffin being the only name HG Wells gave for the invisible man.

The spotted General Zod - quel surpirse - but didn't pull Griffin...so there was an empty chair...occupied by the invisible man.

Made me laugh !