March 21st, 2007


I Love 1973 (Part 1)

Life on Mars ...what can I say, sublime telly. I am REALLY going to miss it when it's all over in 3 weeks time !

Original concept, superbly filmed, well structured with a sharpe witty script that never fails to absolutely delight !

The programme is packed from begining to end with snippets of the era that takes me back in a shot. It might be the Red and White Telephone tents set up on the pavements or an sherical orange bird on a spring mobile, or a poster or a song on a radio in the background.....

and the Quotes .......

Gene: Right, find out who the dead woman was, find out who killed her. Do it now.
(They begin to move)
Gene: Hold up, hold up. Do it tomorrow morning first thing. Beer o'clock, gentlemen

Pathologist: There was one thing that might interest you, D.C.I. Hunt.
Hunt: What?
Pathologist: La Fleur de Mort.
Hunt: Do you know, I once hit a bloke for speaking French.

Sam: Gov. He shouldn't be here, he's got PTSD.
Gene: The man's a bloody hero and you're accusing him of having the clap.
Sam: Post traumatic stress disorder. I've seen it before. He needs counseling, he needs someone to talk to.
Gene: He's a policeman not a fairy.

Hunt [ to Sam ]: You know, if I was as worried as you, I'd never fart for fear of shitting myself.

[Gene is looking at a poster for The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]
Sam Tyler: Which one are you?
Gene Hunt: All three.

Skelton: What's a vol-au-vent?
Carling: It's a puff-pastry shell filled with a savoury meat mixture.
Skelton: You mean a pie.

Hunt: Don't move! You're surrounded by armed bastards!

Politically Correct Banana's


Aka “This Banana is Shit B.A.N.A.N.A…" for any Gwen Stefanni fans.

In keeping with the Politically Correct movement I notice of late that Sainsbury’s now stock only ‘Fairtrade’ bananas.

This has irritated me for several reasons.

1. For some stupid reason Fairtrade bananas are only sold after they’ve been trampled bruised thrown around a bit and largely turned to mush. Not almost green and solid as a rock as I prefer to buy them.
2. The price has gone up. (but o f course it’s only fair that someone pays more and it might as well be me the consumer right)
3. There has been much controversy whether it is in fact the growers or the vendors and distributors and multi nationals are raking in the profits from fair trade food.

In short I want my fecking ‘Conflict’ Bananas back.

I don’t want to have pay for the fecking political reform of whichever $hit hole they came from.

I just want a piece of fruit for a reasonable price.

If the person who grows it wants to reform their agricultural industry/society/country they are quite entitled to join a trade union or have a revolution or a war (I’m sure Tony Blair will sell them whatever left over SLRs/arms he has) or whatever it takes…. I’d just rather not have to fund it from my salary, or deal with the political / ethical fall-out of the fanatical wing of the Banana Growers Liberation Front, if I can buy the same piece of fruit for less from someone else.

I resent my consumer choice being removed.

And I don’t WANT to have to examine my conscience every time I eat a piece of fruit, or open a pack of bacon or chicken breasts. And I’m certainly not going to feel guilty (read = give a pile of old Monkey Toss) because my Spanish celery, or Jamaican Banana travelled first class on a 747, that produced X amount of CO2 and led to an one extra drop of a glacier to melt or an artic fox somewhere to go “phew innit hot around ere!”……..all because I ate a bloody banana.

So long has Old farmer What’shisname isn’t some animal torturing freak who runs round poking ickle flwuffy lambs in the eyes for a laugh, or feeding his animals the ground down genitals of their deceased brethren, or cramming them full of cancer causing chemicals I really don’t mind. (read = give a pile of old Monkey Toss)

It’s the same reason why I don’t by Barn/free range eggs from Sainsbury’s as there is significant evidence to suggest that the conditions that the chickens are kept in are no less uncomfortable/different from the miserable chickens in a cage somewhere….but the supermarkets are happy to charge you an extra 50p per ½ dozen to make me think that my eggs were produced by some ecstatic chicken somewhere in poultry bliss….. (Please note the eggstreme restraint shown by not eggspoilting any gratuitous use of an egg pun eg 'eggstatic' - there's ethical for you!)

I want an egg and don’t really want to hear the life story of the chicken that laid it.

Same goes for Hippy Fairtrade food.

Give me back my ‘Conflict’ Bananas m***********s !

Disclaimer: If you have been offended by any of the views expressed in this post, there's probably a number you can call for help. Sorry, I don't have it to hand