December 21st, 2006


We Wish you a Merry (insert non-offensive term for Christian festival here) We Wish you a Merry ..

Well the News is full of ranting Parents outraged that Schools have stopped calling Christmas Christmas, another school has issued workshets for homework that disprove the existance of Santa Claus to Primary School children, and the increasing trend of people being wished Happy Winter Festival.

So in keeping with the anally retentive self depricating politically correct, liberal doogooders who will probably be reason for the fall of civilisation comes the following officially sanctioned seasonal message..

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make our country great (not to imply that it is necessarily
greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced."