November 3rd, 2006


"Wo Ooh Oh - You're in the Army - Now ..."

...Well seemingly not if you're a potential teenage recruit.

In apparently only 33% of teenagers have Body Mass Indexes that are compatible with Army recruitment criteria.

The rest could all swallow a handgrenade and be classed as a 1000lb bomb....

Still maybe particularly abhorant ASBO awarded yoofs in hoodies could be strapped to the wings of Tornado jets and be used as 'bunker busters'.

Those that do join seem to complain if they are made to run or exercise if it's a bit cold, or wet, or of their CO shouts at them a bit , or if any of their mates don't like them.....or if no one tucks them up at night and reads them their favorite bedtime story.

Gah ! The world has gone mad, hasn't it ?!

Snot Monster alert !

Oh for F***s sake (literally) ……

I’m sure I ranted about this recently , but…. some bloke in a suit and with spiky hair is wandering around the office carrying what I can only assume is the fruit of his loins. Its small, bald dribbling in the nasel area and is dressed in designer cloths and a brown bomber jacket.

And there are females literally dancing a freakin jig in the open plan as they bound up to coo at the little snot monster which is obviously still several months off being able to communicate.

If it starts bawling I’m going to offer to staple its mouth closed.

I can think of plenty of colleagues with the IQ of an infant and who should be in play school. But I can’t think of many snot monsters that should be touted around the office.

What’s the fascination or motivation to parade sprogs around the office – proof that these gimps can procreate ?

For heavens sake People - What next bring your pet to work……

If bringing really young people to work is cool – why not bring ancient parents/grandparents…….. I’m sure my 82 year old Grandma would love to come and meet the colleagues who I have grown to think of as people ‘who I met‘........