However I have yet to devise my devilishly wicked scheme that will let me clean up and retire to a large walled estate with large metal gates (Arkham Asylum stylee) with a large sign on the front gate warning - beware of the lune...he's armed !
While browsing the internet I found this gadget (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/toys-games/action-outdoor/fetch-stick/index.html
) designed for the owners of dogs who may be struck by the urge ....and here's the difficult concept....to pick up a stick......to throw it while marvelling as their four legged canine runs after it and returns it. Meanwhile the dog is simultaneously wondering why it's owner keeps trying to rid themselves of a perfectly good stick.
Now someone somewhere has obviously found this whole 'finding a stick' malarkey a bit tiresome so have marketed a sponge stick for you to throw..... and I quote :
"fortunately for all dog owners with stick addicted dogs, there's Fetch, a rubbery stick look-a-like that isn't slimy, doesn't scatter bark all over the place, is dog chew friendly, and to take your dog into ninth heaven, it even squeaks."
I bet after pooch has slobbered all over it it will be every bit a slimey as a regular Environmentally sound stick. I mean what’s the CO2 footprint of a bleedin RUBBER stick !!!!!! I bet the sodding thing was manufactured using oil based chemicals, made in China before being transferred halfway round the planet to be sold a some twat….who couldn’t bae arsed ….to pick up a stick !!!!
If the good lord had meant twigs to squeek he'd have made them altogether more rubber duck like !
Fcuk me - a rubber fetch-stick !! It’s like buying a can of gravity to stop stuff drifting off into space isn't it ?!?!?!?!
Hang on a minute ……
I might just have something there...anyone have the number for the patent office ?